Darth Vader and his Computer
by Serra Tachi
Summary: Total randomness. Darth Vader gets a Windows XP. Read how he learns about AOL, instant messaging, myspace, websites and more.
1. The Windows XP Computer

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, The Sims, iTunes, Myspace, xanga, ytmnd, youtube or any other website or game you may see.

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**Serra Tachi**: Hello! This is a new story of mine. It's a funny/extremely stupidstory which is a kind of story that I have wanted to write for a while since I am a crazy girl with a whole bunch of randomness in my head. Thanks to **JAYEx9688** for inspiring me to write this story!

Once again, (I write about this in my other stories) if the words are bunched up, I am sorry. It's the site that makes it that way. I re-read everything. So...I'm sorry.

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Chapter 1: The Windows XP computer

"What is this…thing?" Darth Vader asked Piett when he walked in carrying a large cardboard box.

"A Windows XP computer with CD-ROM drive as well as a DVD drive."

"Where did you get this?"

"Some planet called 'Earth'. Admiral Ozzel got lost for some reason and ended up there a few weeks ago. That's why he's been missing.We didn't ask any questions.Anyway,he found this computer quite interesting and brought it back to share with us as well as some other artifacts. We figured that you would like to see this computer first."

"What does it do?"

"It's quite fascinating," Piett said as he cut open the cardboard box and pulled the computer out of it. "You can play computer games on it. There is this very popular video game that Admiral Ozzel picked up for us called 'The Sims.' I will show that to you later. You can also play DVD movies on here. It is also complete with Microsoft Works, a Control Panel where you can change your desktop background…"

"Desktop?"

"Yes, desktop. You can also upload pictures from a digital camera, download iTunes and so much more!"

"Let me see it," Darth Vader ordered. Piett hooked it up and started it. Within minutes, they heard the Windows XP music.

"Leave," Darth Vader ordered. Piett nodded, bowed and left the room without another word to leave Darth Vader alone with his new computer.

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A/N: Yes, this chapter was pretty slow and boring. It'll get better! Also, this is the kind of story where Darth Vader is...silly and...stupid. Yeah. :-) 


	2. The Internet

The disclaimer is in chapter one and will be posted every five chapters.

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**Serra Tachi**: Cool. Thanks for the reviews everyone! They really made me happy.I never wrote a silly fan fiction before so the reviews arealways appreciated as long as they're not flames. If you want to help make it better, you can and I'll be happy. 

I have 4 chapters completed now but I'm going to have to spread them apart.

Well, enjoy this chapter. It's quite short and I apologize.

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Chapter 2: The Internet 

Over the next few days, Darth Vader became really interested in his new computer. He changed his desktop background to soap bubbles because he thought they looked cool. He uploaded a few pictures from his digital camera. His pictures were nothing special--just his victims that he had tortured over the years. He figured that he would like to remember who he tortured in the past. He also had a few pictures of his beautiful wife, Padmé. He missed her so much and he got teary eyed every time he looked at her picture.

Darth Vader wrote more about his new computer in his diary.

_Dear Diary,_

_I got a cool new computer! Admiral Ozzel gave it to Piett who gave it to me. It is so cool! I can play computer games and everything! "The Sims" is a great game to play. You can create a family and build their house and let them live their lives. I can even kill them if I wanted to. Mwhaha! I created my family. They didn't have any black suits or masks in the Sim wardrobe. (bastards). I had to create a version of the old me. (don't worry, my name is still Darth Vader). I created Padmé, who looks pretty damn hott as a Sim and I created my son, Jakob. (I'm pretty sure that's what Padmé would have named our son). The music is really annoying. When I first heard it, I was like wtf? Luckily, I turned the volume down so I won't have to hear it. The only bad thing about this game is that it's not set in our galaxy. It's all about Earth. Wah, wah, wah! _

_Well, I'm gonna go now. I'm downloading the software, AOL today! I don't know what it is, but Admiral Ozzel says it's "all the rage" with Earth teenagers. Pssh…teenagers. _

_-Darthie _

Admiral Ozzel hooked up the AOL software immediately after Darth Vader hid his diary. Darth Vader would do it himself but…shh…he didn't know how. Being mostly machine, he didn't know how to hook up a simple software. He didn't want to tell anyone this because he was afraid that people would laugh at him. Killing, torture, light saber movesand deep breathing were his specialties.

Or "_specialities_" as Obi-Wan would put it.

_"Idiot," _Darth Vader thought as the memory hit him.

"All done, sir," Admiral Ozzel said.

"Leave," Darth Vader ordered.

"But sir, I am interested to see what this AOL software is myself. All I have heard is that it is all the rage…"

"Leave!" Darth Vader yelled.

"Yes, my Lord," Admiral Ozzel said quickly and a ran from the room to leave Vader alone with his computer.

Darth Vader clicked the AOL icon on his desktop and a welcome screen poped up.

**Click Here to set up screen name**

Darth Vader clicked the button to set up a screen name.

**Step 1: Choose your screen name**

"_Hmm, what should I pick?"_

Vader made a list of screen name possibilities on a piece of paper.

-DV1138

-DarthandPalpy1

-Sith Rulez

-TheForceizStrongWithU

-daSithSense

-iWishiWasaGunganNOT

-iiDreamofPadméx0x

-daChosen1

-daChosenWun

-ComeWhatMayxo0x

-ForceChokeMaster

-I like pie

-YaWannaBuySomeDeathSticks?

-&&They call me Vader

-OForce x IKilled Younglings

-Ready2BustasaberMove

-Mr. Brightside 1138

-I Like BarbequeSauce

-I DaRtHvAdEr HeRe I

-xRiPShmiSkywalkerx

-MammaBoyVader

All of these sounded pretty cool to the most awesome Sith around.

"I'm such a badass," Darth Vader said to himself. "Now which one should I pick?"

He scanned the list of possible screen names and realized that it was so hard to choose!

"Ok, the Gungan one is out as well as the death sticks."

After a few more minutes of looking at all of the possibilities, Darth Vader finally picked a screen name.

**Step 1: Choose your screen name**

"Sith Rulez," Darth Vader said as he typed in his new screen name.

**Step 2: Choose your password. Your password should be at least 6 characters in length. Do not include your first or last name, screen name or obvious words**

"Jedistink. I don't think that's obvious."

After he typed in his password and confirmed it, he pressed the OK button. Then, the same screen popped up again.

**This screen name is already being used. Please choose another.**

"You bastard!" Darth Vader yelled.

Then, Vader heard a knock on the door.

"What?" he asked. "I'm busy."

"I'm sorry sir," said Admiral Piett through the door, "but we heard you swear."

"I said I'm busy! Do NOT come in here!" he yelled as Admiral Piett opened the door. He threw his light saber at him. "Don't make me kill you!"

Admiral Piett left at once and Darth Vader chuckled. "Works every time. Now where was I?"

**This screen name is already being used. Please choose another.**

"Oh yeah. Uhh…how about daChosen1? Nah. Uhh, how about daSithSense? Yeah! That's a good one!"

He typed in his new screen name and fortunately, it went through. Darth Vader now had an AOL account.

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A/N: There you go. Again, if the words are bunched up, I am sorry. Please, review :-) 


	3. Instant Messaging

**Serra Tachi**: Thank you to everyone who reviewed! They really made me happy! To **SidiousSith**, I never thought about a him finding a Star Wars game. I think that would be a cool idea. I might use that in a later chapter. To **Rinter** and everyone else, you find out who Sith Rulez is in this chapter.

Also, I'm going on vacation soon and then I'm off to college. Updates won't be as quick (which is why I'm ahead 3 chapters now). ONWARD! (tries to insert line) What's wrong with the "add ruler" button? Darn! Oh well, this is the best I can do...  
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Chapter 3: Instant Messaging

_  
Dear Diary,_

_AOL is so neat! I could go on cool websites and check the weather and current events. Admiral Ozzel programmed the settings so that the weather and current events were of any planet we were closest to. The Empire made the Welcome Screen twice so far! I made it once!_

**-"The Empire constructing new Death Star after the failure of the first"**

_Stupid Rebels! The Emperor is still upset about that. You'd figure he'd be over it by now._

**-"The Empire still searches for the Rebels"**

_We WILL find them! It can't be long now._

**-"Darth Vader gets new computer."**

_That's me! _

_Well, I'm going to go. Admiral Ozzel is going to teach me how to Instant Message now. BYE!_

_-Vade-errrrrrr_

"Teenagers do it all the time. It's a way of communicating," Admiral Ozzel explained to Darth Vader. "It's all the rage."

"What is it with you and that phrase?" Darth Vader asked. "You sound dumb. Stop saying that."

"Sorry, sir. Instant Messaging is very popular among teenagers on Earth."

"How do you know so much about Earth anyway? Were you like…born there or something?"

"No, sir. Here, let me show you how to instant message."

Admiral Ozzel clicked a screen name on Darth Vader's buddy list (he had a total of one screen name on the list) and started to type to him.

"Who is TK874?" Darth Vader asked.

"That is a Storm Trooper. Some of them have screen names. They all share a Windows '95."

**daSithSense (9:57 AM):** Hello.

**TK874 (9:57 AM)**: Hello, Lord Vader.

**daSithSense (9:57 AM)**: No, no. This is Admiral Ozzel. I am showing Lord Vader how to use Instant Messaging.

**TK874 (9:58 AM)**: Oh.

"Sweet," said Darth Vader in a low voice.

"You see? It's not difficult. Here, you give it a try."

"Uh…okay."

**daSithSense (9:58 AM): **Uhh…this is Lord Vader. What's up?

**TK874 (9:58 AM)**: ntm. u?

"What does 'ntm' mean?" Vader asked.

"Nothing too much. It's internet slang for teenagers. It's…"

"If you say 'all the rage' again…"

"I-I won't." stuttered Admiral Ozzel.

**daSithSense (9:58 AM): **ntm. So, do you like this type of computer?

**TK874 (9:59 AM): **Yes. Admiral Ozzel says it's all the rage on Earth.

**daSithSense (9:59 AM):** Raelly…

**daSithSense (9:59 AM):** --Really…

**TK874 (9:59 AM): **Yepp. BRB.

"BRB?"

"Be right back."

"Oh."

**daSithSense (9:59 AM): **K.

**Auto Response from TK874 (10:00 AM)**: Gone to the little girl's room. BRB.

"Little girl's room!" Darth Vader exclaimed. Then, he became interested. "Admiral?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Are the Storm Troopers supposed to be girls?"

"No, sir."

"Oh..Admiral?"

"Yes, Lord Vader?"

"Can you please bring TK874 to me? I want to see something."

"Lord Vader, you cannot have sex anymore. Not after the…accident."

"Well, that's not what I was going to…uh, I mean, oh yeah! Well then, just terminate her."

"As you wish, my Lord. I will leave you to the instant messaging."

Admiral Ozzel bowed and left.

"Damn you Obi-Wan Kenobi," growled Darth Vader when he was all alone.  
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"I do miss him sometimes," Vader said softly as he sat in his computer chair, gazing at the AOL background and his buddy list. TK874 has signed off.

_Dear Diary, _

_I thought about Obi-Wan today. I realized that I miss him. Oh why did I have to kill him? I so0o could have captured him and held him prisoner. I also could have held him for ransom. Then when the Rebels offered to pay money for Obi-Wan, I could have tracked them down and killed them all. I'm stupid._

_-The Stupid Sith_

**New IM Catcher: Sith Rulez (10:30 AM)**

"Hey! That's the bastard who stole my screen name!"

Darth Vader clicked the button that said "Open IM." He was ready to tell this person off.

**Sith Rulez (10:30 AM)**: I see you have a new computer, Lord Vader.

**daSithSense (10:30 AM):** Yeah and you totally stole my first choice of a screen name! You are such an asshole! Get rid of your screen name! I am the greatest Sith ever!

**Sith Rulez (10:31 AM): **Do you even know who this is, Lord Vader?

**daSithSense (10:31 AM)**: No. Who?

**Sith Rulez (10:31 AM)**: Emperor Palpatine.

**daSithSense (10:31 AM):** …

"Shit."

**Sith Rulez (10:31 AM)**: Now who's the greatest Sith ever?

**Auto Response from daSithSense (10:31 AM):** Away.  
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A/N: Darn! That stupid "add ruler" button still doesn't work! Oh well. I know that it was pretty obvious who Sith Rulez was. I mean, who else could it have been? LOL. Please...REVIEW! Make me really happy. If you have an idea, share it! Myspace, xanga, chat rooms and a few websites are all in the works.

Also, the personality of Darth Vader in this story was inspired by dangerboys. If you want, go to that website and check out the Darth Vader video. It is one of the funniest one's I have ever seen:-)


	4. Chat Rooms

**Serra Tachi**: Ok so I decided to update earlier than expected because it's my birthday! Yay! I'm 18 and legal! According to my friend, the best part of turning 18 is that I can buy the stuff advertised on T.V. "You must be 18 or older to order." Haha.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Everyone really made me happy. I am glad to know that people are enjoying this story full of randomness. lol. This chapter is quite short and can be confusing to read since all of it takes place in a chat room.

Once again, if the words are bunched up, I am sorry. It is the website doing that. (tries to add ruler) AGAIN?

NoOoOoOoOo!  
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Chapter 4: Chat Rooms

_  
Dear Diary,_

_My Master didn't like being called an asshole. Right after I put up my away message, he contacted me and gave me a lecture. He said that I shouldn't curse at people I don't know. I guess he's right. He's always right and I'm always wrong. I said I was sorry and we left it at that. He was so forgiving. I bet Obi-Wan wouldn't be that forgiving. He never liked cursing. I bet if I was still a Jedi and he was my Master, I would have to sit in a corner and think about what I have said. It was either that or meditate. Then, afterwards, he would lecture me to no end. GAH! I'm not a freakin child! _

Oh yeah! The computers have spread! Now more people have them! I can now go into chat rooms and talk to people right down the hall from me!

_Today I watched an Earth movie on my computer. It is called, "The Notebook." Don't tell anyone, but I cried at the end. It was soOo sad! That girl who played Allie was pretty cute. I'm renting another movie of hers. "Mean Girls." It stars her and Lindsay Lohan._

_So yeah…"The Notebook" is a great, romantic movie! Remember, don't tell anybody that I cried. I'm trusting you, dear diary._

_-Sucker for romantic movies_

**  
daSithSense (3:34 PM):** And then I just agve the order to terminate him. I mean…_her_.

**TK100 (3:34 PM):** Wow…just like dat?

**daSithSense (3:34 PM): --**gave

**daSithSense (3:34 PM**) yepp. I still can't believe that he was a she.

**TK100 (3:34 PM): **me neither.

**TK831 (3:35 PM): **ii never would ave guesd dat we had a grl trooper. ii wonder if she wuz hott.

**Sith Rulez has joined the Chat Room (3:35 PM)**

**TK100 (3:35 PM): **I wouldn't have guessed either

**daSithSense (3:35 PM): **hey master. wat is thy biddin?

**Sith Rulez (3:35 PM)**: no biddin, lord vader. I just saw you were in a chat room so I decided to come in 2.

**daSithSense (3:35 PM): **kewl. how did u know?

**Sith Rulez (3:35 PM): **I located you on mah buddy listt.

**TK726 has joined the Chat Room (3:35 PM)**

**daSithSense (3:36 PM): **R u stalkin me, masta?

**TK726 (3:36 PM):** who's stalkin who?

**Sith Rulez (3:36 PM):** No 1 is stalkin anybody

**daSithSense (3:36 PM): **Hey mann. wuts poppin?

**TK726 (3:36 PM):** ntm. Hey, vader…did u ever hear of a xsanga?

**TK726 (3:36 PM):** --xanga

**TK100 (3:36 PM):** wuts a xanga?

**TK831 (3:36 PM): **?

**AdmrlOzzEl has joined the Chat Room (3:36 PM)**

**daSithSense (3:37 PM):** No.

**TK726 (3:37 PM):** It's an online journal. Maybe you should get one, Darth.

**daSithSense (3:37 PM):** wut are u sayin, tk726?

**TK726 (3:37 PM):** that you should def. get a xanga.

**Sith Rulez (3:37 PM):** it def would be better than that stupid pink, velvet one you keep under your pillow. LMAO!

**AdmrlOzzEl (3:37 PM):** I have a xanga!

**TK100 (3:37 PM):** ROTFLMFAO! VADER HAS A DIARY!

**TK726 (3:37 PM):** wow, u serious? Darthie has a diary? I didn't know!

**daSithSense (3:37 PM):** I do not!

**TK831 has left the Chat Room (3:37 PM)**

**daSithSense (3:37 PM):** Terminate that TK831 before he/she tells any1!

**TK100 (3:38 PM):** So it's true then?

**AdmrlOzzEl (3:38 PM):** As u wish.

**daSithSense (3:38 PM):** How did u find out, Master?

**AdmrlOzzEl has left the Chat Room (3:38 PM)**

**Sith Rulez (3:38 PM):** Lord Vader, I am the greatest Sith ever! Lol.

**TK726 (3:38 PM):** Is it really pink?

**daSithSense (3:38 PM):** …no…it's…black with lightning designs all over it. Really cool.

**Sith Rulez (3:38 PM):** Liar! Hehe.

**daSithSense (3:38 PM):** Shut up! Ok. Plzz don't tell ANYONE about this

**daSithSense (3:38 PM): **k? don't make me kill you.

**TK726 (3:38 PM):** I promise, Lord Vader.

**TK100 (3:38 PM):** I do too.

**Sith Rulez (3:39 PM):** You know me, Vader. Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?

**daSithSense (3:39 PM):** …

**daSithSense (3:39 PM): **Ok. Thank you very much.

**daSithSense has left the Chat Room (3:39 PM)**

**Piett iz cool has joined the Chat Room (3:39 PM)**

**TK100 has left the Chat Room (3:39 PM)**

**Piett iz cool (3:39 PM):** wuts up?

**Sith Rulez has left the Chat Room (3:39 PM)**

**TK726 has left the Chat Room (3:39 PM)**

**Piett iz cool (3:39 PM):** wut have I missed?

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**A/N:** Yeah, now that I read it, this chapter was pretty short. I'm sorry. There will be one more update before I go on vacation on the 25'th. Then, who knows when the next one will be. I really hope that those of you who read this story will be patient and not be angry with me. :-( Anyway, that being said...REVIEW! please? Reviews make me happy. They make me smile. :-) unless they're flames, of course..(shudders)


	5. The Xanga

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, The Sims, iTunes, Myspace, xanga, ytmnd, youtube or any other website or game you may see.  
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**Serra Tachi**: Hello there! Well, this will be my last update for a while. I'm going on vacation tomorrow and when I return, I'll only have one more day and then I'm moving into my dorm at college. Since I'm not familiar with college life yet, I won't know how long it'll take for me to update. However, if I can keep the chapters really short, updates will be quicker. I don't know what I'm going to do yet.

Yay! Thank you to all reviewers! You really made me happy! I'm still loving the idea of Darth Vader finding a Star Wars game. A PS2 can be one of the artifacts that Admiral Ozzel brings back from Earth. I don't know when he'll be playing the Star Wars game but I'll definately start thinking about it. Is Battlefront II for online? Well, if my brother EVER gets off of the PS2, I'll check that out. (he never gets off...ugh!)

(tries to add ruler) Oh, I give up!  
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Chapter 5: The Xanga

"I did what you told me, my Lord," said Admiral Ozzel after he terminated the one Storm Trooper from telling the entire Empire that Vader had a diary. "and it was a male."

"Good," Darth Vader said not taking his eyes away from the computer screen. He was building a new house in "The Sims."

"What are you doing now, my Lord?" Admiral Ozzel asked as he peaked over Darth Vader's shoulder to see what he was doing.

"I'm creating a bigger and better house for me, Padmé and Jakob. Padmé and Jakob deserve a big house. I think they will like that."

He just finished painting the inside of their rooms and was now working on the floors.

"How many families have you created so far?"

"A few," Darth Vader answered, still not taking his eyes away from the computer screen. "I made the Palpatine family. My Master is married to Mon Mothma because I saw him look at her picture in a weird way one day. Don't tell him I know. I also made the Kenobi family. Obi-Wan married Siri Tachi. When I'm finished building my house for Padmé and my son, I'm going to kill Obi-Wan and Siri and move my family into his. It'll be great. I also created the…"

"Isn't it a waste to build this new house for you and Padmé if you are just going to move out then?"

"It's _MY_ Sim life and _I _can do what _I_ want!" Vader yelled. He turned around in his seat to face Admiral Ozzel. "If _I_ want to build a house for my wife and son, kill another family and move my family into their house, I will! That's the whole point, isn't it? You can _do what you want_! You know, I also created your family because you gave me this computer and you were nice to me! You married a woman named Gabrielle and had a baby girl, Nalini. You are a stunt man and leading a very happy life! If you want, I can kill you."

Admiral Ozzel stuttered. "M-My mistake. You're absolutely right. It is your SIM life and you can do whatever you want."

"I thought so," said Vader as he turned around in his seat again to finish creating his house. He put in random floors in each room. He had a pink carpet in one room and then had a star carpet in the kitchen. It looked really weird. Now all he had to place was the roof on the house and then he would be done.

"Are you going to get a xanga, my Lord?"

"Later. I'm done with the house! Look!"

Admiral Ozzel looked at the house. He had to pretend to be impressed though. He had seen better houses designed by the Storm Troopers. This house was very wide and not symmetrical. The family room was quite small while the bathroom was huge. There were nine rooms on the first floor and seven rooms on the second floor. Eight of these rooms were bedrooms. Why did a family of three need 16 rooms? Only Darth Vader would know. They also had stairs inside the house while having a teleporter and he had statues right outside the front door. This was a weird house. Admiral Ozzel didn't think that Padmé and Jakob would like this house even if they were alive to see it.

"Look! My family is going into their new house. I hope they like what I put inside it!"

The SIM Darth Vader, Padmé and Jakob went inside the house to look around. Whenever they looked at a plant, statue, rug or a piece of furniture, they hated it. Admiral Ozzel had to bite back the urge to laugh as Darth Vader asked himself what he had done wrong to the house.

"Perhaps it is too much space," Admiral Ozzel suggested. "I mean, you have 16 rooms for three people."

"Padmé needs a lot of space! She carries a lot of clothes and hair supplies. I mean, she changed her dress and hair like 5 times a day. You saw her. The smell of the hair spray really got to me when I was home with her. So now she has her own room to do that sort of stuff in so she doesn't bother me and Jakob from doing big boy things."

"Look at how small the family room is. All you have is a couch and book shelf. Where is the television and the telephone and the…"

"Again, it's MY house! We don't need television. We could…talk."

"…rocking chairs? Also, in the bathroom, you have a toilet, a sink, a rug, a mirror, a hot tub, a statue, a plant, a chair, a tub, a shower and a toy box. No normal bathroom is that large or has that much stuff!"

"Well, this is not a normal house, is it?"

_"You got that right," _Admiral Ozzel thought.

"I heard that!"

"Sorry, my Lord. I think I will leave you alone now."

As Admiral Ozzel shut the door behind him, he decided to spy on Darth Vader and hear what else he was saying. He quietly pressed his ear against the door. Several other Storm Troopers joined in and listened with him.

"Uhh, let's see," they heard Darth Vader said. "Vader and Padmé. Uhh…kiss. Hmm…passionate kiss."

_Click_

"Kiss me you fool! Mwah! That is one hott SIM kiss!"

Admiral Ozzel and the Storm Troopers laughed. Luckily, it wasn't too loud so Darth Vader couldn't hear them.

"WOW! Padmé's pregnant…again! Holla!"

They all laughed again.

"It's a girl! Aww. What should I name her? Hmm, I got it! Anamé!"

"What kind of name is Anamé?" Admiral Ozzel whispered to the other storm troopers. They all shrugged.

"A good name!" roared Darth Vader from the other side of the door. "And if I ever catch you listening in again or making fun of my children's names, I will beat you up!"

Admiral Ozzel and the Storm Troopers didn't need to be yelled at twice to get the hint. They all ran away from the room as quickly as they could.  
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_Dear Diary, _

I have a baby girl! Well, in "The Sims" at least. Her name is Anamé. I think that is a cute name for my daughter. It is so hard to take care of the baby though. I'm thinking of just hiring a butler so he can do everything while me and Padmé have some "fun." Hehe. Jakob is doing well. His grandmother sent him $100 for good grades…I think. I don't remember.

Ok, so everyone has been telling me to create a xanga. (sighs…deeply) I guess I'll do it. I like this diary better though. I don't care what my Master says, you will always be number 1.

-Sith Sithly

"Just create a username, password and you'll be ready to go!" Admiral Ozzel instructed. "I'm sure you know how to handle the computer now so I'll leave you at it."

And without another word, Admiral Ozzel left.

**Step 1: Create a Username**

"Here we go again! I think I'll just go with the name I gave myself in my last diary entry: Sith Sithly."

**Step 2: Create a Password**

"DVjedi"

**Step 3: Confirm Password**

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

**Step 4: Copy the code you see below**

"Uhh, okay. Is that a G or a C? I don't know. Uhh, G5ZJ29."

Darth Vader then pressed the "Create Account" button and for the first time, it successfully went though.

"Horrah! Welcome to Sith Sithly's xanga site!"

Darth Vader went straight to work. He needed to pimp his xanga immediately. He quickly downloaded a picture of the first Death Star and made that his xanga background. Next, he made his profile.

Name: Darth Vader  
Country: do you mean planet? I'm from Tatooine.  
State: wtf?  
Birthday: 41 BBY  
Gender: Male

Interests: The Dark Side, killing younglings, force choke, my computer, the Sims.

"I'm bored with xanga already. I want premium!"  
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_Dear Diary, _

My Master said that a xanga would be better than writing in here. Well, that's not true. I love you more! Xanga…is…dumb! Well, since I already created an account, I guess it's best that it doesn't go to waste.

-Vader. Darth Vader.

Dear xanga,

I didn't do much today. I set up this account, applied a cool looking background and wrote down my profile.

Guess what? I also met this girl on my star destroyer! Yeah, I don't know where she came from but she's pretty cute. She must be on the execution list. She better not be another girl Storm Trooper. I don't even know how we got that one female in the first place. :-/

Well, that's all for now! You can leave a comment if you wanna and if you don't wanna then you can just leave!

E(x)it. Buh-byez!

-ME!  
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A/N: Yeah, this chapter had almost nothing to do with xanga. haha. Next chapter will be about ytmnd's. If you're not familiar with that site, I suggest that you check it out or else you'll be lost next chapter. Ok well, that's all for now! Please REVIEW! Make me happy. :-)


	6. You're the Man now Dog!

**Serra Tachi**: I told you that the next update would take a while. I went on vacation to Wildwood. It was awesome! I loved it! We got hit by Ernesto pretty bad though. It was great! haha. I moved into my dorm room two days after I got back from vacation. I love all of my classes so far! Now, I am home for the weekend and posting!

Unfortunately, I am no longer 3 chapters ahead, 2 ahead and so on. The next update will probably come within the next two weeks or so.

This chapter features the website, you're the man now dog! (YTMND) To be on the safe side, I'm going to credit the YTMND's written in this chapter:

**_Penguins Become More Evil_** by **spacedout1290**

**_Tom Hanks Finds New Harry Potter Book_** by **secretpants**

Also, the song that Darth Vader sings in this chapter is called "Ebaum's Sucks" by **Lemon Demon**.

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Chapter 6: You're the man now dog!

"Lord Vader, give this computer a rest!" Piett said in an annoyed tone. He, Admiral Ozzel and a bunch of Storm Troopers were gathered around Darth Vader, who was still on the computer.

"Five more minutes," said Vader quickly as he typed on his keyboard.

"Lord Vader, you have not left this computer in weeks! Don't you want to get out?" Admiral Ozzel asked.

"Five more minutes."

_"You're the man now dog! You're the man now dog! You're the man now dog! You're the man now dog!"_

"What on Earth is that?" Admiral Ozzel asked as he looked at the computer screen.

Everyone around him suddenly gasped.

"What?" Admiral Ozzel asked, confused.

"You said 'What on _Earth_ is that!'" exclaimed Piett.

"So? This computer came from Earth, didn't it?"

"Yeah," Piett said slowly.

"So it is suitable to say that since I am talking about an Earth object."

Piett raised an eyebrow. He looked skeptical. "If you say so."

"I do. Lord Vader, what is this website called?"

"YTMND," Darth Vader said. His voice was not in the dark tone it usually was. It was…full of excitement. It took everyone by surprise. "It's a funny website. I'll show you."

Darth Vader went to the quick search place and typed in something random to search for.

**Search: evil**

He clicked "search" and the website found matches immediately.

"Let's look at this one."

He clicked a random ytmnd and the saw two penguins fighting. One of them pushed the other into a hole. Darth Vader burst out laughing. The others around him pretended to laugh.

"The music just makes it better!"

"This website is…weird," Piett said.

"It is not!" Darth Vader said in defense. "I'll show you another one!"

Darth Vader went back to the main page and looked under "Worthwhile YTMND's." He saw one that looked interesting. "Tom Hanks Finds New Harry Potter Book." He clicked that one and saw a man, who they all believed was Tom Hanks and he found the Harry Potter book. Then, he saw a plane with the message revealing a spoiler for the book and Tom Hanks throws the book at a tree. This YTMND made the Storm Troopers and Piett laugh.

"Ok, I'm sorry. This website is pretty funny."

"O RLY?" Darth Vader asked as he tilted his head to one side. He snorted as he did so.

"Uhh…yes?" Piett said, uncertain.

"NoOoOoOo," Darth Vader yelled. "You're supposed to say 'YA RLY.'"

"Uhh, okay. YA RLY."

"NO WAI!" Darth Vader said as he looked up at the ceiling. A few Storm Troopers left the room. Admiral Ozzel even looked scared.

"Lord Vader, I suggest we move away from the computer for right now," he said as he moved a bit closer.

"Oh really?" Vader asked. He no longer seemed happy.

"Yes really," Admiral Ozzel answered calmly.

"NO WAY!" he yelled.  
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"Getting out will be good for you, Lord Vader," Admiral Ozzel said as he escorted Darth Vader away from his computer.

"Once upon a time on the internet there was a guy," Darth Vader sang. "A very deeply flawed man. They called him…"

"Lord Vader please stop singing that ridiculous song!" Ozzel said as he covered his ears.

"He was a total asshole and nobody knows why," finished Darth Vader.

Admiral Ozzel led Darth Vader to his room to have "helmet off time."

"There you are," Admiral Ozzel said as he helped Darth Vader into his chair. "It's helmet off time now."

Admiral Ozzel bowed and left quickly before Darth Vader spoke to him again. As he closed the door, he once again put his ear to the door to see if he could hear anything.

"And if we all join hands and sing this song, then our call will reach the sky…" Darth Vader continued singing.

"Oh this can't be good," Admiral Ozzel whispered.

"What's going on?" asked Piett who was walking by and saw Admiral Ozzel listening at the door.

"He's singing that stupid song."

"So right now we're making that our mission…" Vader continued to sing.

"I wonder if we could get rid of that computer," Admiral Ozzel thought out loud.

"He'd know," Piett whispered.

"…and if that bastard doesn't listen…"

"Why don't we break it?" Piett suggested.

"That's a good idea!" Admiral Ozzel. His face brightened up.

"…we'll get sick of being lawful and brand his ass with something awful. OH YEAH!" Darth Vader finally finished. "Now its helmet off time! Later, I'll go on Ebaum's World. He has cool games."

Admiral Ozzel and Piett sighed hopelessly.

"We need to get rid of that computer!"  
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Admiral Ozzel, Piett and a few other men in charge were sitting around a circular table, wondering what to do about Darth Vader and his computer.

"I say we just break it," Piett suggested yet again.

"Or throw it out into space," General Veers suggested.

"Lord Vader will kill us if we do any harm to that computer," Captain Needa said.

Everyone was silent for a moment. Then, General Veers spoke up again.

"That's why we'll have Admiral Ozzel do it!"

"What?" Admiral Ozzel asked, stunned.

"It's all your fault that we now have a giddy, happy, seven foot two, helmet wearing burned man who is supposed to be the most feared person in the galaxy!" General Veers exclaimed.

All of the members around the table yelled in agreement.

"Well, I didn't know that he would become this out of control!" Admiral Ozzel retorted.

"You're breaking the computer!" Piett said loudly.

"And soon!" Captain Needa added. "He's off of the computer right now, isn't he?"

"Let's just hope that he doesn't go back on for a few hours," Piett said. "That will give Admiral Ozzel enough time to break it."

Admiral Ozzel sighed. "Okay, I'll do it."

Everyone around the table cheered. At last, the computer would be destroyed!

"Let's just hope that Darth Vader doesn't find out about…"

"MYSPACE!" a low but excited voice said as it entered the room. It was, of course, Darth Vader.

Everyone around the table groaned. They would now have to wait longer than expected.  
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A/N: There you have it! Another chapter! Again, the next update won't be for a while. Also, if the words are bunched up, I am sorry. Does anyone have any other ideas for this story? I'm still liking the video game ones! Please, REVIEW! Thanks a bunch. :-)


	7. Myspace

**Serra Tachi**: I transfered this entire story to my laptop (which was a pain to do) so now I can write while I'm in my dorm and not just when I go home on the weekends (and not rush through a chapter). So updates won't take longer than 2 weeks anymore! Yay!

I'm starting a much darker story for the Star Wars section. It's something that I have never written about and the idea just came to me. However, I am not sure if I will post it. I'll have to see how it goes. As of right now, it's pretty horrible (you can take "horrible" both ways)

Yay! My English professor rocks! He's teaching us how to make sentences more exciting and that's one of my main weaknesses when writing stories. (details and description). Basically, use the five senses. I'm trying my hardest to improve. I should be able to see some improvement within the next few weeks. It's hard at first...for me.

The whole "internet is not for porn" part was inspired by "Avenue Q."

ONWARD!

* * *

Chapter 7: Myspace 

"Lord Vader, you can't be serious," Admiral Ozzel said as he slumped in his chair, put his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands.

"I am!" Darth Vader said enthusiastically. "Myspace is all the rage on Earth!"

Everyone around the table sat upright in their chairs, looking wide awake. They all stared at Admiral Ozzel in surprise. He shrugged. Darth Vader hated the "all the rage" line and he, like everyone else around the table, were in total shock when he heard those words come out of Darth Vader's helmet.

"Listen, my Lord," said Piett as he rose out of his chair and walked slowly over to Vader. He was thinking about what to say. "Myspace is…err…complicated. It's a lot of work to get it right."

"Yeah, I know," Darth Vader said. "I can't wait to pimp it up. My myspace will be the coolest myspace in the galaxy and I want each and every one of you to create one!"

Everyone around the table disagreed. They were yelling "no" and "why" and "I don't want to create one." They didn't want to create a myspace. All they cared about was getting rid of the Windows XP.

"What's the matter guys?" Darth Vader asked the crew upon hearing what they had to say. "Myspace is cool. Why don't you want one?"

"It's complicated," Piett said at once.

"A lot of work," added Captain Needa.

"Myspace creates virus'," said General Veers.

"I have no friends," Admiral Ozzel said sadly.

"Well, I'll be your friend!" Darth Vader exclaimed. "I'm going to create an account right now! You all better create an account within the next hour or else I'll hurt you…badly."

And with that statement, Darth Vader left the conference room. Admiral Piett stared at the people sitting around the table. They all looked exhausted and defeated.

"This can't be good."

"I wonder if he'll become a myspace whore," General Veers wondered out loud.

Captain Needa and Piett glanced at Admiral Ozzel with a look of hate and determination in their eyes.

"What?" Admiral Ozzel asked them.

"Do you know how to send a virus to another person?" Captain Needa asked.

Admiral Ozzel shook his head. "No."

Captain Needa and Piett groaned loudly.

* * *

"M-Y-S-P-A-C-E. Myspace! Myspace! MYSPACE!" Darth Vader cheered from his desktop. "Horray!" 

"Oh yippee! He could spell!" Piett mocked quietly as he, Captain Needa and Admiral Ozzel listened quietly at the door. They chuckled softly.

"Uhh let's see," Darth Vader thought out loud. "Control key plus the letter 'K.' Keyword! Horray! Ok. Uhh…myspace."

Darth Vader clicked the "go" button. Then, some porn site popped up.

"THIS ISN'T MYSPACE!" Darth Vader roared. "What the fuck is this? Porn? Wow…PORN! This is the internet for force's sake! The internet is NOT for porn!"

"Well, actually, the internet is the perfect place to watch porn," Captain Needa said. Piett nodded and laughed in agreement.

"I think porn is gross," whispered Admiral Ozzel.

"You're such a fucktard," said Captain Needa.

"Why is everyone so mean to me now?" Admiral Ozzel asked.

"Because you're the asshole who brought us that Windows XP," Captain Needa explained.

"Yeah, stupid head," Piett said angrily.

"Ok uhh…sign up," Darth Vader said quietly. He was obviously no longer on the porn site.

It took Darth Vader a few moments to successfully create a myspace account. When he was finished, he cheered loudly.

"Yippee! Now what?"

"Oh joy!" Piett mocked which earned another laugh from Needa and Ozzel.

"I already have a friend!" Vader exclaimed. "Tom? Who is Tom? Huh…he sort of looks drunk in this picture."

Darth Vader then went straight to work to edit his myspace profile.

**Headline:**

"Uhh…what the fuck is a headline? You know, that's pretty good!"

**Headline: **What the fuck is a headline?

**About Me:**

"Ooh! This should be fun!"

**About Me:** Hello there. My name is Prescott. No, I'm totally kidding. It's Darth Vader. My middle name is Danger so my full name is Darth Danger Vader. I think my name sounds awesome! I live on a Star Destroyer since my home, the Death Star, was destroyed some time ago. I miss it. L Most people in MY galaxy know me. I am the most well known Sith of MY time. What is a Sith you ask? Well, when you think of the word "sith" do you think of someone bad? Well, you shouldn't! Being a Sith does not mean that you're evil. Being a Sith means that we "view" the force in a different way. We are part of the Dark Side of the force. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! The Sith just work differently from the Jedi.

I am a nice guy…I think. Well, the people around me say that I'm nice so it must be true. :-D. My best friend is my Master, Emperor Palpatine and Admiral Ozzel. To my Master: Thank you for teaching me everything I know! You rock! May the dark side of the force be with you always! To Admiral Ozzel: Thank you so much for giving me this wonderful computer! Without you, I'd be lost! Without this computer, I would never know what's "all the rage" on Earth! Thanks man! You rock!

I like to dress in all black. Well, I really don't have a wardrobe anyway so all I have is black. Black, black, black. It's so…mysterious. It's so dark…so evil. IT'S SO COOL!

I used to be married. Yep girlies, I AM SINGLE! Anyway, my beautiful wife, Padme, died about 20 years ago. She took my unborn son, Jakob, with her. I miss her sooo much and I miss my son too! RIP Padme and Jakob! I love you!

I would LOVE to have a pet Wookie! I would sooo name him Fred!

I love the play The Sims. It is such a cool game! I am also into ytmnd. It's so funny. I am bald. GUYS WITH NO HAIR ARE SEXY! So if you ever wanna see me with my helmet off, just give me a holler. My screen name is daSithSense. IM me anytime suckaaaas!

Until I update again, LATER!

**I'd Like to Meet:** Hott girlies who like bald men who dress in black. I would also love to meet Rachel McAdams and Lindsay Lohan! I would also love to meet Tom Cruise, Regis and Kelly, Deep Roy, Oprah, Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen!

**Interests:** Killing AT Younglings, picking on Admiral Ozzel, hunting the Rebels, playing practical jokes on the Storm Troopers.

**Music:** Instrumental stuff and death metal.

**Movies:** The Notebook, Mean Girls, Twister, Moulin Rouge, The Godfather and more!

**Television**: 7th Heaven and Coruscant Idol

**Books:** Harry Potter…so cool! Wizards are awesome! GO LORD VOLDEMORT!

**Heroes:** Emperor Palpatine, Admiral Ozzel, TK874 (for being a girl), Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Padme.

Then, Darth Vader went under the "Basic Info" section.

**Gender**: Male

**Occupation**: Sith.

**City**: Coruscant/Star Destroyer

**Body** **Type**: Body builder

**Height**: 7 feet 2 inches

**I am here for**: Dating, serious relationships, friends

Then, he went to the "Background and lifestyle" section.

**Marital Status**: Single

**Sexual Orientation**: Straight.

**Smoker**: Yes

**Drinker**: Yes

**Children**: Proud parent

**Education**: No answer

"YEAH-HOO!" Darth Vader screamed. "I'm done for now! Let those friend requests start coming in! I'm never getting off!"

Admiral Ozzel, Piett and Captain Needa groaned.

* * *

A/N: Well, there's another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it! Wow...so many things to write about myspace but what should be next? Hmm...I don't know. Gotta think on that. LOL. Thanks to everyone who reviewed next chapter! Please REVIEW this chapter! Thank you very much! You all make me so happy! 

Have a nice day :-)


	8. Myspace Pictures: Part I

**Serra Tachi**: Uhh...yeah. I got a review today on this story and then I remembered that I had it. Seriously, I am sorry, but I did forget about this story (as I did my other one). I haven't updated any story in months. (1) No time and (2) I couldn't get back into writing them. I do regret not updating this story sooner. It is clearly my most popular and my favorite story. I can be silly and stupid because that's what the story is about. So I updated this story when I started my first semester at college. Well, that's over now and I am currently in my second semester. Whoo! Ok, well this is a short chapter so I won't keep anyone waiting any longer. I will try my hardest to update sooner and more frequently because I am sorry that I did not.

ONWARD!

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Chapter 8: Myspace Pictures: Part I

Over the next few days, Darth Vader had become obsessed with myspace. Whenever he was logged onto AOL, he always checked his myspace first to see if he had any new comments, messages or friend requests. So far, Darth Vader had 43 friends and 56 comments. The friend requests started coming in just hours after he created the myspace.

**Stanley** would like to be added as one of your friends!

"I don't know this person," Darth Vader said as he looked at Stanley's picture. "But oh well. Vader needs friends to talk to."

**::+:: Sarah Marie (short)cake ::+:: **would like to be added as one of your friends!

"What kind of name is that?" Darth Vader asked as he read that silly display name. "Oh well, she seems like a cool person. I'll add her too."

**You have received a new message from "DUDE! Where's my BMW?"**

"Uhhh…how would I know?" Darth Vader asked as he read the display name. "What is it with all of the weird display names?"

Darth Vader, who was curious to see what this person had to say, opened up his message.

_Hey Darth! _

Watz up man? I see you've got a killer myspace! You did a great job on pimpin it up! Killed any younglings lately? How's Panda Bear? Oops, I guess she's not doing so well. She's dead. Haha…oops. I mean...:-(. Sorry about your loss dude. Well, I hope you're over it. It was…what? 23 years ago? Anyway, cool myspace. ADD ME!!

-Kyle

"What a jerk," Darth Vader said after reading the message. "Who's 'panda bear?' Surely he doesn't mean Padme! Oh I'll kick his ass so hard if he meant Padme! How does one get 'panda bear' from 'Padme' anyway? Oh well, I guess I'll add him."

**NEW COMMENTS!**

"Yippee!" cheered Darth Vader. He was always excited to see that he had new comments.

**DanielleMarie:** Hey Vader!! You were soo hott before you were burned to a crisp!

"I'm still sexy…" mumbled Darth Vader.

**William**: Hey man! Thanks for the add! Watz up?

"You're welcome," he answered.

**"OMG! I KILLED HARRY POTTER!":** I LOVE YOU!!!! MARRY ME!!

"YOU KILLED HARRY POTTER?! NO WAY!! I LOVE YOU TOO! Lord Volemort kicks ass!" Darth Vader said happily.

**"Look (BANG) an undead monkey!":** Thanks for the add! You are such a badass but where are your pictures? You really need a picture up there man.

"I DON'T HAVE A CAMERA!" Darth Vader yelled. "I want to put up a picture but I can't!"

**JUSTINcredible**: You really need some pics up there dude.

"DAMMIT!"

It was in the middle of the night when Admiral Ozzel heard a knock on his bedroom door. Still very sleepy and somewhat angry for being woken up, Admiral Ozzel stumbled out of bed and answered the door. He instantly became wide awake when he saw Darth Vader standing before him.

"Lord Vader," Admiral Ozzel said in shock. "What brings you here to my room at this time of night?"

"I need to see ALL of the artifacts you brought back from Earth," Vader said at once.

"Uhh…" Admiral Ozzel stuttered. "Can't it wait until morning?"

Not wanting to wait to be invited inside, Darth Vader pushed Ozzel out of the way and started to look through a large box filled with the artifacts he brought back from Earth.

"Lord Vader this is an invasion of privacy!"

"I know you have it. I know you have it…"

"Have _what_?"

Darth Vader threw a baseball, a glove, a bat, a television, a clarinet, a squirrel, and a picture of Spongebob Squarepants out of the box before finding what he needed.

"Eureka!" Vader cheered. Held in his hand was a digital camera. He stood up and and turned to Admiral Ozzel. "I need you to show me how to use this."

Admiral Ozzel was getting really annoyed. "You turn it on, you aim where you want the picture to be taken and you press the big button. Simple."

"Oh..oh yeah! Thanks!"

"What, may I ask, do you need it for?"

"Myspace pictures! See ya!"

And with that, Darth Vader exited Admiral Ozzel's bedroom. Ozzel immediately locked the door so he can get back to sleep. As he got into his bed and settled in, there was another knock on the door.

"Who is it?" asked Admiral Ozzel.

"It's me!" came in the voice of Darth Vader.

"TARTAR SAUCE!" yelled Admiral Ozzel as he, once again, stumbled out of bed.

"What?" Vader asked.

"Oh nothing!" Admiral Ozzel said furiously. Then, he opened the door yet again, for Darth Vader. "What is it now?"

"Why do you have a picture of a sponge with a face?"

"He is a cartoon character," Ozzel explained with no patience.

"What's his name?"

"Spongebob Squarepants! Good night, Lord Vader!"

Admiral Ozzel didn't care what Darth Vader did to him. He just slammed the door in his face and went back to bed.

"He's so cranky when he wakes up," Darth Vader said to himself as he walked back to his room with the digital camera in his hand.

* * *

A/N: Erm...review? Yes, this chapter is short but I wrote it rather quickly so I could finally update. It needed to be updated. Well, thanks for reading! I will try and write the second part to this chapter as soon as I can.

-Have a nice day!


	9. Myspace Pictures: Part II

**Serra Tachi:** Omgee! Another update so soon! Go me! I wrote this one just now and my hands and fingers HURT! LOL. I think that this chapter is a bit longer than the others. I don't know though. I think it is.

You know, thanks to the YTMND, "3.141592653589793..." by **kraln**, I actually learned about 120+ digits of pi. Yes, I do have no life.

ONWARD!

* * *

Chapter 8: Myspace Pictures: Part II

_  
Dear Diary_,

OH NO! I haven't written in here in a LONG time! I am so sorry! Well, nothing has been going on. Well, sort of. I've given up on xanga. It was too boring. YTMND is such a funny website! I'm learning Pi! There's this ytmnd with a cool song that goes to it so you can learn at least 200 digits of pi! Look, here I go! 3.1415926535897932384626433...6433...33...oh tartar sauce! I know it! You just watch! Haha, "tartar sauce." I heard Admiral Ozzel use it a few minutes ago. I think that's a cool phrase. Tartar sauce. Awesome! Well, I'm on MYSPACE now! It is so0o cool! I have many friends already! I'm working on getting pictures up now. Later!

-Darth (Danger) Vader

"Ok, so uhh," Darth Vader stuttered as he studied the camera. He forgot everything that Admiral Ozzel had told him. "You uh…aim first and then press the button? Uhh…what button? The big or the small? Oh tartar sauce!"

Darth Vader was really embarrassed when he had to go back to Admiral Ozzel the next morning to ask him how to use the camera again. This time, Admiral Ozzel was more patient because he had gotten a good nights sleep. He told Darth Vader what he needed to do and then sent him on his way…

…into the bathroom. This is where Darth Vader wanted his first picture to be taken.

"A lot of peple take pictures from their bathroom," Darth Vader said to himself as he stood in front of the mirror. "It must be all the rage on Earth."

Darth Vader aimed the camera a little to the right of him and angled it slightly. He used his left hand to make the peace sign. He smiled broadly (even though no one could see his smile) and pressed the big button. He looked at his digital picture and was pleased at the way it came out. The bright, white flash that was shown to the left of him gave the picture a great effect.

"That…looks…awesome!" exclaimed Darth Vader.

Darth Vader left the bathroom and then began searching all around his Star Destroyer for good places to take some pictures. He took a few pictures of random things like droids, doors and pictures of space. As he continued to walk, he saw a group of Storm Troopers marching around the hallways with their backs toward him. This gave the evil Sith a wonderful idea.

"Hey!" Darth Vader called out to them. "Hey guys! Hey girls! Wait up!"

"And…halt!" commanded the Storm Trooper who was in the front of the line. Then, he moved to the back of the line to where Darth Vader was. "Is there something you need, Lord Vader?"

"Yes," answered Darth Vader immediately. "You guys look like a good bunch of photogenic people."

All of the Storm Troopers stared at one another. Some of them shrugged and others shook their heads.

"Uhh…we are, Lord?" asked the Storm Trooper skeptically.

"Yes, of course you are!" said Darth Vader. "Here, form a small group."

Even though they were completely confused, the Storm Troopers did as they were told.

"Hmmmm," mumbled Vader. "Now all I need is someone to take the picture."

As if on cue, an Imperial Officer was walking right past them all.

"Hey, you sir!" said Vader as he held out his arm to stop the officer. He looked alarmed, frightened and confused. "I have no idea who you are or what your name is but can you take a picture for me?"

"Uhh, sir?" the Imperial Officer asked, confused.

"Take the damn picture!" said Darth Vader, impatiently. He then thrust the camera into the officer's hands and walked into the middle of the Storm Trooper group. "I have stupid people working for me!"

"I'm not stupid," mumbled the officer quietly. Then, he aimed the camera so everyone was in the middle of the screen. "Are you all ready?"

The Storm Troopers nodded and Darth Vader threw both arms out to the side, making the "I love you" hand gesture.

"Ready!" Darth Vader said happily.

The officer then pressed the big button and a second later, the picture was taken. Darth Vader rushed over to him and grabbed the camera out of his hands. He surveyed the picture and said "perfect." Then, he strolled right past the officer, turned a corner and went out of sight.

"Not even a 'thank you'," said the officer, sadly.

Darth Vader resumed searching the Star Destroyer for great moments to take another picture. One of the last places he searched at was at the detention levels. There, he took photos with all of the prisoners with a light saber to their throats.

"Follow me," Darth Vader commanded to another Imperial Officer who was in charge of the detention level. They stopped in front of the jail cell numbered 8311. "When is this person scheduled to be terminated?"

The Imperial Officer check his data pad for the answer. "She is supposed to be terminated within the next week or so."

"Well then, today is her lucky day!" said Darth Vader. He opened up the prison door and stepped inside. The female prisoner was sleeping but awoke abruptly when she heard Darth Vader enter.

"W-What's going on?" she asked fearfully.

Darth Vader paused for a moment before answering in a rather nice tone. "Do you want to be in a picture with me?"

"W-Will you release me if I am?" she asked.

Again, Darth Vader paused. "Yes."

"Okay," answered the girl. She seemed really scared and somewhat confused.

"GREAT!" exclaimed Vader. He walked over to her, picked her up with one arm and placed her on her feet. "Now…smile!"

Darth Vader then pressed his fingers and thumb together and the girl grabbed her throat in response. Gagging noises and gasps of air escaped her mouth as she was slowly lifted into the air.

"Take the picture," ordered Darth Vader to the Imperial Officer.

"Yes, my Lord," responded the officer.

Darth Vader quickly posed. His face was looking toward the camera and his left hand was pointing to the girl who was being force choked. She definitely was not smiling. In fact, her eyes were slowly closing and she was no longer fighting to break free of the choke.

"Done," said the Imperial Officer. Darth Vader immediately let go of the girl and she collapsed onto the floor…dead.

"Oops," Vader said, looking down at the girl he just killed. "Oh well, set her free I guess. I got what I wanted."

He took the camera out of the officer's hands and stormed out of the detention level. As he was in the elevator, descending to the first floor, he took more pictures of himself at different angles. Before the elevator stopped, Darth Vader took two more pictures of himself. He put one leg on the rail and held the camera way above his head. He looked away from the camera and pressed the button. In the next picture, he balanced both legs on the rails, aimed the camera above his head and looked into it. He pressed the button.

"Uhhh," came in a familiar voice. "Lord Vader what are you doing?"

Darth Vader just realized that he was on the first floor and the doors to the elevator were open. Outside the elevator, he saw Admiral Ozzel and Captain Needa staring at him, dumbfounded at what they were seeing.

"Uhhhh," Darth Vader answered in response. He was really embarrassed. "Myspace pictures. Yeah."

Admiral Ozzel and Captain Needa looked at each other for a moment and stared back at Vader, still in shock over what they saw. It wasn't everyday that Darth Vader was seen in an elevator doing that kind of pose.

Darth Vader cleared his throat and walked out of the elevator. Admiral Ozzel and Captain Needa took a few steps back away from Vader as he did so.

"So, if you tell _anyone_ about this," Darth Vader began to say.

"You'll hurt us?" Admiral Ozzel said.

Captain Needa gulped. "Badly?"

"Correct," Vader said before he walked away from them.

Darth Vader was just about to turn a corner before he heard Admiral Ozzel yell his name.

"Yes, Admiral?" asked Darth Vader. He was sort of pissed off about them witnessing him in that position and wanted to get away from them as soon as possible.

"We were just informed that the Emperor has landed here."

Darth Vader's eyes widened and a smile appeared on his face, though no one could see. He stood silent and motionless for a minute or so.

"Sir?" asked Captain Needa. "Are you okay?"

"A B.F.F picture!" cried Darth Vader suddenly. Full of excitement, he raced down the hallways and to the landing platform where his Master's shuttle just arrived.

* * *

A/N: Yay! B.F.F! LOL. I'm going to start the next chapter very soon. I still don't know what I'm going to be putting in it but I think I'll be doing something with the video games! I just gotta figure everything out first. Thanks for reading everyone! You all make me so happy with your reviews! And using the Star Wars movies were a good idea. I'm thinking about using that sometime in future chapters!

Reviews please!! (smiles) :-)

-Have a nice day! 


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